After more than a decade as a primary songwriter, co-lead singer and guitarist with The Crane Wives, Emilee Petersmark is stepping into a different kind of spotlight with her debut solo album as Lee Emi. DESTROY EVERYTHING grew from songs that had been sitting unfinished for years, before the pause of the pandemic gave her the space to return to them and begin building a project of her own.
The record is rooted in questions of identity, reinvention and belonging, shaped in part by Petersmark’s experience as a Korean adoptee raised in Michigan, her return to Korea and a period of serious illness. But making it also meant learning to trust herself in a new way: taking the lead on creative decisions after years of working within a band and separating the value of making art from the pressures of streams, followers and commercial success.
What’s the story behind DESTROY EVERYTHING, and what did making this album allow you to explore that you hadn’t been able to before?
DESTROY EVERYTHING started as a collection of songs in a Google Drive graveyard, songs that told a different story than the other material I was working on with The Crane Wives over a decade ago. They sat until 2020, when the pandemic shut-down forced me to rethink all of my plans for the future. Ben Zito, the bassist and manager of the Crane Wives, offered to record and produce my solo record at his studio while we were on a hiatus from touring, and the project just kind of took off from there.
I drew a lot of inspiration from the work I was doing at the time to deconstruct my adoption story, revisiting Korea for the first time since I was an infant and using this solo project as an opportunity to process that experience. Making music has always been a deeply cathartic practice for me, but this was the first time I’ve had an outlet that felt wholly mine, and as a result there’s a lot about this record in particular that feels deeply personal.
Making this album gave me my first real opportunity to sit in the driver’s seat when it came to making creative decisions. Throughout my career I’ve been surrounded by musicians with incredible talent, and it felt easy and safe to lean on their opinions when it came to building out a song in the studio. This record definitely pushed me to trust myself and my instincts, leaning into the sounds and textures that felt right to me. The end result is something that feels like an evolution from the work I’ve done with The Crane Wives, and I’m really proud of it.
Starting something new can be intimidating even when you already have an established career. How have you dealt with the pressure of putting yourself out as a solo artist?
It’s absolutely terrifying to be alone in the spotlight after so many years of sharing it with a band. Not to mention switching things up and playing new music with a new band after sixteen years of touring with The Crane Wives. I’m doing the best I can to embrace the anxiety as part of the process. It’s a lot of change, and a lot of vulnerability, and I don’t think it’s possible to ignore the weight of that.
Thank God, I have the best team in the whole fucking world supporting me. Whenever I start to feel the self-doubt creep back in, I remember how many amazing musicians and artists have leant their time, labor, and talents to this project. I try to remind myself that a lot of people I trust believe this is going to work out.
You’ve been making and releasing music professionally since 2010. What do you know about being an artist now that you wish you’d known when you were starting out?
I wish someone had told me that there is a difference between making art and selling art. It’s easy for an artist to conflate their success as a business with their value as an artist, and when business is slow it can feel like your art is worthless. I still get stressed out about streaming numbers and follower counts.
But not having high streaming numbers doesn’t make you less of an artist. Having lots of followers doesn’t make you a better songwriter. I wish I knew when we were starting out to have more confidence in the art I was making, even when a lot fewer people were listening.
What’s your best advice for someone who is just starting to make their way in the music industry?
Don’t trust anyone who says they know the “right” way to become a successful musician. There’s so many paths to get to where you want to go, and what works for one person might not be replicable for someone else.
So do what feels best for you, even if that means taking breaks, touring less, waiting more than a year to put out a record. You could do everything on a label’s schedule and it’s possible your career still won’t take off the way you’d like. So make what you wanna make on the timeline that works best for you.
What’s your favourite part of making music, and what’s your least favourite part?
My favorite part of making music is the songwriting process. I’ll never understand the folks who consider themselves AI musicians because the toiling process of making the song exist is the best part, and I can’t understand why anyone would want to skip it. It feels so cathartic to take a feeling and turn it into a melody. It feels like play. You get to experiment and take risks and tap into a specific part of your brain in a way that feels like meditation.
My least favorite part of making music is the mixing process, after recording everything in the studio. I feel like I get so deep in the weeds of micromanaging each second of music that the song starts to lose all meaning. It’s my perfectionism rearing its ugly head. I think we did over 10 rounds of mixes for this record, which is absolutely appalling.
What are you listening to at the moment, and is there an artist you think more people should know about?
Lately I’ve been revisiting old playlists and listening to bands that I liked a lot circa 2015, like Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Mother Mother, and Metric. An artist that more people should know about is Angélica Garcia. Her album Cha Cha Palace was a surprising source of inspiration for Lee Emi, as she embraces a lot of different elements of her heritage in her music, leaning into her identity as a Mexican/Salvadorian American.
If DESTROY EVERYTHING were part of a playlist, what other tracks would you put alongside it?
Sun Has Set - Beebadoobie
Happy Now - Michelle Branch
Oh Well - Fiona Apple
I Am King - Florence & The Machine
Heat Lightning - Mitski
Fever Pitch - Rainbow Kitten Surprise
How do you unwind and switch off when you’re not making music?
I like to draw and paint whenever I have the time. I used to do freelance work back in the day, and have illustrated children’s books, album covers, and lots of posters for other musicians. When I’m looking to switch off the creative part of my brain entirely, I like to find activities that get me outside, like hiking, kayaking, and rollerblading.